Dear Two-Year Molars

Oh how I loath you! Up until now I thought that the worst part of parenting a two year old was the constant temper tantrums in immediate response to the usage of the dreaded word "no". I can manage that.
But you, YOU evil, horrid teeth! Nothing, I mean nothing, has prepared me for what we will refer to as teething.
I don't know what you have done with fantastic angel over a couple of teeth; I demand you come in immediately and return my son to his pre-psychotic state! I cannot take another minute of his unpredictable multiple personalities.

I want my son back, the one that eats, sleeps and heck even smiles.... YOU, you terrible molars may KEEP the son you have brought here, I have had enough of the word "no", the screaming at random times for no explanation what-so-ever, the whining, the hitting and the lethargy.

For the third day in a row, he has eaten NOTHING...

MENU -

Day 1: Breakfast -- Life Cereal with a banana (ok I'll take it); Lunch -- two bites
of a wrap (yup that's it TWO bites); Dinner -- one bit of pizza, the "inside" of one piece of bread and a Popsicle... (UGH!)

Day 2: Breakfast -- looked at a piece of soft piece of french toast (YES, only looked!!!); Lunch -- three containers of applesauce and one piece of Life cereal (do-able); Dinner -- four bites of beef stew, one egg scrambles, and a protein milk shake, all of which he was BEGGED to eat.

Day 3: Breakfast -- 1/2 a bowl of Oatmeal (a record!); Lunch -- TWO bowls of pastina in chicken broth and the crust of two pieces of pizza (that, we will take! Starvation must have settled in and he realizes a little pain in his mouth is better than pain in his belly, mouth AND head)..

I wish they made t-shirts or signs that said "TWO YEAR MOLARS - BACK OFF!", because we could have really used them at Walmart this morning as he proceeded to scream at the top of his lungs and thrash around like a maniac!

I REALLY REALLY didn't not like being 'that parent', the one dragging a kid out of the store kicking and screaming... We WILL NOT make that mistake again!
The most aggravating part of it was, after dragging him out of the store and restring him in his car-seat he proceeded to say "what did I do?" and “I don’t know why.”

So, you terrible-two-year molars, you better hurry or I may reach in and pull you to the surface myself!

Love Mom