MY MOUTH HURTS

I can't talk or eat or move or breathe!

Gosh darn Wisdom teeth!

RUN for the families

My first 5k after Christian was born and it could not have been for a better cause! Matt and my friend Katie worked diligently creating the Sandy Hook Run for the Families and participating in the race could not be missed!
It was so cold, so we bundled. It started to sleet, so we bundled more, but we did not stop running. We could not stop running in the memory of those poor babies taken too soon.

It was so hard to keep moving, and that had nothing to do with the temperature or the fact that I had a baby weeks earlier and was running with him strapped to my chest while pushing the 'big' kids in a double jogger... I couldn't stop, not while I was thinking about how lucky I am to be running with my babies, when other moms, will never again have the ability to do that.

The race was put together very well, down to the stuffed animals awarded to every child participating in the kids fun run race.

Little Brother is Born...

I had a plan.
We had a plan, a very specific plan.
Not everything works out according to the plan.
The plan was I was going to wake up in the morning with contractions five minutes apart and ninety seconds long, just as I had with my previous two births. I was to drop my oldest off at school and my youngest at my in-laws, have the in-laws pick up the eldest and keep both children overnight. My husband was to call out of work for the day, phone my doctor’s office (as well as my Doula – Coretta ----- Read her blog here.) to relay the contraction information and state we would be on our way to the hospital.
The plan was to deliver a happy healthy boy in delivery room one, while taking advantage of the Jacuzzi tub for a water-birth.
The plan was to go IV and medication free through the duration of my stay, which I planned on making as short as possible.

What follows is what actually happened, with Baby Brother’s birth story, I want to express that this is not how birth is for everyone, nor should it be expected to be. 

Every mother, every baby, every birth is different. 

None is better or worse than the other, each is merely a process, a beautiful process we as mothers endure in order grant life to our precious little ones. I had an all-natural birth and I thought it was awesome. BUT...I know that a lot of people do not choose the route that I took and I want to say that I completely respect that and I do not judge. Just because I think natural-birth is great, does not mean that it's for everyone. 

After two separate solid evenings of all-night contractions over a week apart leading to a whole lot of nothing and being weeks late, I was convinced of two things. 

1) My baby hates me. 

And 

2) He’s never coming out. 

I had a routine OB visit on my birthday, in which we had the unpleasant (for me) discussion of induction and the ‘risks’ of waiting for the little guy to appear on his own clock. I was ordered to complete another Ultra-sound, in which the little guy appeared perfectly healthy and I was able to buy some more time before a nearly mandated induction. 

I was given Friday (two days away), I refused. 

I was then scheduled for Monday morning to which I complied (having full and complete intentions on canceling when/if he did not arrive). 

I left the office in tears again, for nearly the 30th time this pregnancy. The most frustrating part being MY body was ready to deliver, HIS was not ready to enter the world, and so many of the conventional and even unconventional ways to speed up the process would not accomplish a darn thing. I woke the next day and BAM. 

NOTHING. 

AGAIN. 

Now, I assumed if contractions or water breaking did not occur during the night, the day was lost and he was not coming. I made this assumption because of two things, first, BOTH of my older children were born at the 9 o’clock hour, and second, I know that MOST births begin when the mother is able to relax…which for me only happens when I am out cold. I went about my day in my usual misery of discontent but I felt a ‘little off’. 

My husband for the umpteenth time offered to stay home from work ‘just in case’, I laughed and he drove to work. 

After having a VERY few sporadic contractions throughout the day, I mentioned to Coretta (View Her Blog here) had been occurring suddenly stopped, I continued with my assumption that today is NOT the day. I then packed up my daughter and drove to pick up my son from school. 

On the drive there I had two decent contractions (on the 35 minute drive), nothing while I waited in the parking lot for a ½ hour and when I loaded the children back into the car I felt a VERY SMALL gush run down my leg. I attempted NOT to freak out as I could have just peed myself. 

The contractions were completely stopped again, so I assumed, it was a small leak and things would be moving along at a snail’s pace. I proceeded to my normal mommy duties, homework help, art project, hot cocoa, snack, brownie baking, dinner preparation and playtime supervision. As I did these things the contractions returned, although they didn't seem ‘right’ (each was only 2 or 6 or 3 minutes apart, lasting 20 or 95 seconds, consistently - inconsistent and unpredictable). I then chalked it up to false labor and continued on. 

At roughly 4:30, I was keeled over in pain, false or not I needed to get the kids out of the house before I scared them. I then asked my oldest son to call his grandparents to pick them both up and pack a bag for the overnight visit. (If you ask me the call took entirely too long, because I needed the kids gone ten minutes ago). Once he hung up, I then had him telephone my grandparents to inform them we would not be joining them for dinner. (This call took too long too!) Why was everyone asking so many questions? CLEARLY, they should know I am in labor!

I then texted my husband to come home. (To which he replied.. "Are you sure?") 

Seriously annoyed and seriously in pain... and now my phone keeps ringing! First, work. Next my sister. Lastly my mother. Everyone wanting to chat!

When my in-laws arrived I could barely speak, I kissed the children good-bye, told my father-in-law to “Get OUT” (I apologized later) and went into the bathroom to splash water repeatedly on my face. Once they finally left, I heaved myself over the birthing ball sobbing that my husband was not home yet and I would have a baby at home, alone. 

When I heard his car pull in the driveway, I nearly died. I had already pushed twice. He entered the house thinking it was a false alarm. Changed from his work clothes and walked around the house (for what seemed to be aimlessly to me). I handed him my phone and he knew it was real. He called my midwife and my doula, Coretta, and berated me with questions I was in too much pain to answer. 

I let out an “I cannot do this” as every woman in labor MUST say at some point, and he reassured me. I think he assumed I was refereeing to the whole birthing process. I was not. I was in fear that I would have to give birth at home. 

I knew we were in serious jeopardy of running out of time.

I was starting to get a little bit frantic during my contractions and had a hard time staying calm, the only thing I could think of is how a baby born ANYWHERE other than in the hospital would have to be in the NICU for observations for hours. 

My husband helped me to the car, holding both of my arms and walking backwards in front of me (the ONLY work-able position) each step excruciating… he couldn't even carry me successfully and I couldn't walk unassisted. Three times during our walk to the car he asked if I wanted to just go back in the house, and once more as we attempted to get into the car. 

It felt like it took forever to get into the car. And once we finally did, I felt some relief being in the car… until the urge to push came again… and again. 

Every light we came to looked red. 

I sobbed in the front seat of the car, praying and begging he would run every red light. 

I felt a huge gush and the urge to push again. 

I was concentrating so hard on avoiding the unnecessary pushes and staying calm. 

It was an enormous relief to me when we pulled up at the hospital. I then could face the reality that little guy’s head was about to crown. I heard my husband yell to the valet for a wheel chair and he and another man lifted me into it. 

I continued to tell myself not to push, to no avail. 

It seemed we hit every road block on the way. The doors opened sooooo slowly, the elevator was miles away and the doors on the elevator did not want to close. When we approached the entry doors to the labor and delivery, I let out a huge sigh of relief. My husband pressed the buzzer for us to be let onto the labor and delivery floor, and we were let in almost immediately…a nurse and my midwife were there, ready and waiting. 

My husband wheeled me into delivery room one where our water-birth was supposed to take place. 

The midwife and the nurse helped me to stand and asked me to get on a gown. I laughed, well laughed as much as a woman could in full labor. 

In this standing position I then pushed again and could feel his head. I could also feel the eyes of everyone in the room, sort of scared, sort of out of place, sort of wondering how I was going to get undressed and in a bed in the matter of minutes or seconds that this little guy was going to be born.

 Birthing in a hospital bed was not part of the plan. I strongly believe that is what caused the vast amount of stitches with my other births, the plan was to avoid stitches at all costs and by the looks of things not only was nothing going according to the plan, but tearing also seemed inevitable and stitches seemed realistic. 

As I pushed that eighth or so time, I told the midwife to cut off my pants and get the baby. She just looked at me very strangely and reminded me the pants had an elastic waistline. The three of us managed to get my pants to my ankles and I was able to lean back slightly onto a bed, push one more time and he’s head was out all the way…inside the water bag. 

The midwife was shouting for help and for someone to get her a ‘hook’ to remove the bag, nurses rushed in from everywhere. She managed to pull the water bag off of his face and guide him the rest of the way out unassisted. 

For a second I felt robbed. 

Robbed of the birth I had planned. Robbed of every having the birth I had hoped for. Then, I heard my little guy cry. 

And in that moment nothing else mattered.

I did not care that my plan had fallen apart; I did not care of all the blood and water all over my house and car, or the clothing that needed to be tossed. I did not care that I had endured momentousness pain for hours. I did not care that I had to wait several extra weeks to see his beautiful face. 

When he was handed him to me and instantly 

nothing. 

else.

mattered. 

The nurses walked around preparing medicine after medicine for me, since I was not given anything prior to the birth, but on my behalf (and knowing my wishes) my midwife stated I did not need anything. 

My husband called Coretta to tell her ‘not to rush’ and ‘he was already here’ and she didn't believe him. We all smiled and laughed over the ‘I told you so’s’ I had stated weeks ago of barely making it to the hospital. 

My little guy was bathed and returned to my arms. 

My husband phoned all the family to share the news and Coretta walked into the room shocked she had actually been in the elevator during his birth. 

Much of my plan had fallen by the wayside, since although he made me wait weeks for his birth, he had me wait only hours for his delivery, I didn't need stitches or medication or an IV, but I did not get my water birth.

I did end up with a gorgeous, alert, healthy, little guy and an early release from the hospital.

Baby Introduction

All parents have gain experience through parenting itself. None of us are experts in any area of parenting....Most of what I know about raising kids comes from my years of teaching, counselling children and adolescence, educational experience (child development and early elementary education) and my own grandparents example, who successfully raised five children and two grandchildren spanning two decades – who all get along. 


Now my family and I are facing a great parenting challenge...bringing home a sibling:

• When a new baby arrives, the older siblings’ role as an older sibling is as important as the new baby. 
• Explain special treatment the baby receives in terms of the baby not being able to do things the older sibling can do. (baby needs to nurse because they don’t have teeth, baby is carried because they can’t walk)
• If an older sibling expresses disgust or disdain for the baby having dirty diapers, build empathy instead of distance by commenting on how nice it is that the older sibling doesn’t have to wear diapers any more.
  
• Emphasize the older siblings’ ability to teach the baby new things. 
• When older siblings interact with the baby inappropriately, teach them an appropriate way to interact rather than getting angry or frustrated with them. 
• Talk about how much the baby likes their older siblings.
• Give lots of positive reinforcement for appropriate behavior.
• Allow room for the older siblings to regress a bit in the early months after a baby is born. There are a lot of changes happening in the home, and everyone is feeling more tired and strained than usual. Make sure the older siblings are still getting plenty of attention.

The transition should be eased...

• Have the baby bring siblings gifts, and let siblings bring baby gifts to the hospital, but ONLY IF they want to.
• Wear the baby when you want to give the baby a break from siblings.
• Encourage siblings to look after a baby doll or stuffed animal while you look after the baby.
  
• If siblings get rough with the baby and won’t redirect, sadly say that you have to remove the baby, because they aren’t being kind to the baby. I usually put the baby in a baby carrier at this point. Remind siblings that babies are people, not toys.

On the Day that you were born...

--------------------------Monday, December 24, 2007------------------------------------

• All About You…
• Time of birth: 9:14 am
• Weight: 5 pounds, 14 ounces
• Length: 19 inches
• Hospital: Yale
• City: New Haven
• About the Day You Were Born….
• You share a birthday with: Television Host, Ryan Seacrest, born in 1974 Film producer and inventor, Howard Hughes, born in 1905 Singer, Ricky Martin, born in 1971
• Movie "The Bucket List", is on everyone's mind
• GPS tops Christmas Lists

Poor nameless child...

I am still at a lose as to what we should be naming our littliest addtion to the family. Matt and I cannot seem to agree on any names and it is beyond aggravating. I loath his suggestions and he mine...

He likes : Danger, Cameron (He seems to be digging the new age)

I like : Nathaniel, William, Christopher, Donimick, Andrew, Elijah, Michael, Nicholas, Timothy, Cadence, Caleb (I'm a classic girl)

Jack suggests : Alexander, Daniel (It's all in who he knows)

Trina suggests : Maximus, Flynn (I think our little Rapunzel has an addiction)

....and He's ROLLING

Jack's was invited to his FIRST birthday party of the school year and it happened to be a throw-back to my childhood.

Although he has NEVER even seen or heard of roller skates, I still thought it would be "fun" to give it a shot with a bunch of 5 year old and their unexpierenced skating abilities. It was painstakingly obvious that the parental folks got far more of a workout than the little ones...Still yet, the kids had a ball and actually learned quite a bit on how to "stay up" on wheels. He and his little classmates, also played a mean gave of air-hockey and pinball.

All the parents I met (the whopping three others that attended) were super nice, and "real". I think it's going to e a good year.

Parent/Teacher Night

My stomach was in knots for days over Jonathan's Academic performance and the curriculum in Kindergarten, as well as his seemingly inability to make friends with the children his own age. His teacher alleviated a LOT of my concerns, although not all of them. She did confirm that he often is playing alone outside at recess time. Of course I worry less about that and more about his academic achievements, especially since I KNOW he has friends elsewhere and REALLY can get along with anyone. I think the play-time issue is, he doesn't like excluding anyone, and that is the nature of the recess BEAST. Over All, I had a FANTASTIC meeting with his teacher. She totally put my mind at ease... He's in for a challenging year! HOORAY!

For real now... It's A ...

Now, let's party!

Baby Update

Another scare today.

We couldn't find a heart-beat in the office today...

I was not surprised.

This whole pregnancy felt 'off' since day one.

And it seems no matter how much I pray for twins, it just isn't meant to be.

In any event after a search with no luck for a heartbeat, I am escorted down the hall to the ultra sound room. I wasn't scared or worried or anything. Actually the lack of heart-beat kind of brought a solution to the fact that it has not felt like a 'normal' pregnancy at all thus far.. I actually just thought to myself, 'well, that would explain it."

I sat back in the chair and the doctor grabbed the goop and the machine kicked into gear.

I expected to see a whole lot of nothing.

But, the little bugger couldn't be heard on the fetal heart monitor because he or she would not stay still.

.

There is indeed a happy, healthy, active little one in there.

Oh, it's true...

We received confirmation this morning that our newest little edition will join our home in late December/early January. The thing is, as much as I feel like I am ready to do it all again... who really is? Parenting requires hard work! Especially if you do it right! The scary part I am facing the realization of now, is the selfish part.. My prior pregnancies have destroyed any abdominal muscles I worked so hard to recreate after each pregnancy. With the third, its nearly IMPOSSIBLE to hide because you will begin showing before MOST people even know they're pregnant. (Worst part of this is that my cousin and I are expecting literally days apart, and she with her first... yet I look 2-3 months further along)! By theory, I am supposed to be more tired and more achy with this pregnancy than ever before. It's partly because I'm a bit older, it's partly because I'm taking care of two little's while trying to grow another one, and it's partly because subsequent pregnancies are harder. The clear advantage is I am definitely not scared of the unknown. It's do-able. I clearly won't have as much anxiety about the baby as I did before, either. Maybe this is why third children tend to be mellow. The older kids will push on your tummy at least eleven times a day, and most mom's will be convinced that the new baby will be born with bruises from head to toe. (I'll let you know in December whether or not that actually happens). All of my friends will be dieting, and training for the next BIG fitness THING and here I go again again adding additional pounds to burn off in a few months, and more areas to tone and tighten and HEY even in record time. BREATHE! I AM excited, I really am! I just wish someone in ANY of those expecting or parenting manuals would address actual real thoughts of those moms who are expecting their third or fourth or even fifth baby... I mean everything changes when your expecting, again. On the third pregnancy, other than the questions about multiples, or baby size since mom is so big so early, its pretty inevitable you will hear comments about the dreaded middle child or snide remarks if you already have one child of each gender. BABIES ARE BLESSINGS! I sometimes have to remind myself of this, like when I am super tired and need a nap! Although I may want to I fight hard not to "neglect' the two current children through the exhaustion of growing the third. I have the advantage of having two healthy eaters in my house, so when every I feel a little fatigued or sick, I can break out the carrot sticks and VIOLA ENERGY for all! The BIGGEST challenge is getting the household stuff done, which clearly wont get any easier with a third craving my undivided attention 24/7. Here is where I find the time to instill in the children the value of hard-work and dedication to home and family... Since they could grasp the concept I have been explaining to them that a family is a team and we all need to work together to get everything done. Usually that everything rests on my shoulders, but as I get bigger and weaker and more tired it will be time to pass it on.

When you have a daugther...

In honor of the birthday of my little girl. I began to ponder the blessings that she has brought into our lives. When you world is blessed with a baby girl, you experience sunshine and a love like no other. Her voice is the first I hear every morning as I wake, and her smile the first I see. There has never been a sweeter baby girl that I have met, never a more caring little one I've known and I pray that she continues at this rate when she is all grown. I love the way she picks out her clothes and puts them on herself. I watch her dance and add every accessory on the shelf. The world has found a beauty in her, unlike any other. And yet I seem to love the same parts in her, as do I in her brother.

I USED to care....

I USED to care…
1) what people thought when we ran out to the park or the store with an ice cream or chocolate milk mustache --- but then I remembered the fun we had eating the ice cream and giggling over blowing chocolate milk bubbles all over for so long that we lost track of time.
2) When bubbles from the bath tub tumbled down onto the floor --- but then I looked at the smile on my son’s face, and the pride he felt in ‘sharing’ those bubbles with me.
3) when my son had to fall sleep in our bed because his baby sister was “too loud” for him to sleep --- but then I realized this days were occurring fewer and fewer as each year passes.
4) that one or both of my children had on matching socks before we left the house --- then I remembered they dressed themselves, and the time and energy and concentration it took them to pull those tiny socks on those little feet with those itty bitty hands, and I STILL beam!
5) if there was food left on of my little one’s plate when he/she got down from the table --- then I remembered we are lucky to sit together and chat at meal-time, and if one of them were hungry later, we are doubly lucky that the food will still be there.
6) if the children ate peanut butter and jelly for three days in a row --- then I realized, they had full bellies and I a full heart, plus plenty of time to add extra vegetables for dinner.
7) when we left the house with clothes that were not pressed --- the wrinkles would be added to our clothes in a matter of minutes, and in the time I could have been ironing, I instead got an extra hug or read a longer story, ran one more race, played another round and shared another moment.
8) when the kitchen sick was filled with dishes --- then I looked at the photographs of us baking brownies together and licking the beaters, and eating our snack before our lunch and told myself the dishes COULD wait until tomorrow.
9) that the rug needed to be vacuumed several times a day --- then I remembered making those handmade granola bars we all liked and I cared a little less of all the crumbs that hit the floor as we ate, after all the little ones liked to vacuum.
10) when no one would give me the time I needed to get through a workout undisturbed --- then I realized I couldn’t get through an uninterrupted workout, and half the fun of working out, was watching your little feet run in place, or your arms struggle to reach your toes.
11) when my hair got wet in the rain --- until the little one’s got so excited to see the rainfall and had to search for a rainbow.
12) when the baby woke me waaaayy to early on a Saturday morning ---then I saw the smile you had JUST to see me walk into your room.
13) that my little man got out of bed three or four times a night to use the potty --- then I realized it had less to do with the bathroom and more to do with you missing me already and I looked at the very small pile of laundry unaffected by the overnight and smiled doubly.
14) that our house was smaller than someone else’s --- then my eyes were opened to the time we had together, and the moments we will share in the future, and my ears opened to the lack of satisfaction of those around me…we all seek something bigger and better, until we realize it already is BIG and couldn’t be BIGGER.
15) when it took us twenty minutes to leave the house --- then I really sat and watched you determined yet struggling to put on your shoes and coat without assistance and took great joy in your independence, will power and strength.
16) when my to do list was not completed at the days end --- until I realized my to-do’s were less important as my “already done’s” even if my already done’s were merely sharing, playing and making memories… these things cannot be procrastinated, the dishes can wait, the laundry can pile, the crumbs will be there in the morning, but babies don’t keep.

Jonathan's 9th Month Check-up

"He's perfect!" - That's what the doctor said...
This despite the fact that he was eating paper before we left for his appointment... :)
Lungs, heart, ears, nose, mouth...everything is great!
In just about every category (weight, height, head circumference), Jonathan is in the 25th-30th percentile.
This is surprising because compared to several babies older than him, he looks huge!
While we were there she looked at his two bottom teeth, his two top teeth, the two top teeth that should be in any day now AND the two bottom teeth that are going to break through very soon!

He weighs 18 lbs and 9 oz.
He is 27.5 inches tall.
His head circumference is 17.5 in.

:) WAY TO GROW JONATHAN!!! :)

Playing Ball

I went to the Dollar Tree on Tuesday and bought a tiny kick-ball. I was thinking it would be good for my classroom, for one game or another...that is until I realized it fit perfectly in Jonathan's little hands! I washed it when I got home and handed it to him since he was starring at it. Again, He just wanted to eat it.... But this morning, since we both were up early :) we went downstairs to play. I sat Jonathan on his foam alphabet/number mat and picked up the ball. I rolled it to him and he caught it. Not a delayed, "what is this" or "oh there it is" but a "I GOT IT".... SO FUNNY! So, I said "Jonathan, give mommy the ball" and he rolled it back! I was cracking up! Needless to say, this little man is off to a great start! We rolled and eventually bounced the ball back and fourth for a good half hour. And when Pop-pop came over, Jonathan played catch with him as well! What a neat new trick!

We have lift-off!

Jonathan's crawling!!! He started rocking and push-ups about 2 weeks ago and yesterday (Sunday), BAM movement!