I WANT MORE!

WE ALL WANT BETTER FOR OUR CHILDREN… BUT BETTER DOES NOT MEAN MORE STUFF I was clearly born into the wrong America, the wrong generations of Americans… We live in an America where I don’t feel pretty until I put my earnings in… I want to chew bubble gum, play baseball, salute a solider and have a pop at the corner store, NOT blab about celebrity relationships, and attire.

Easter

The Easter bunny stopped at our house, TIMES THREE!

Too minivan or not to minivan

I am torn between the space I could have and the comfort I have gotten used too.
I enjoy some of the options available in a mini van, but I really don't know if I want to be one of those mini van driving moms.

A great number of my friends have converted... to the dark side. They have become moms of two or more and subjected themselves to mini-van-dome.

I have always sworn I would not convert to a min van driver, but with three kids and two jobs that require loads to transport ... I just might have to.

The sliding remote-controlled doors, the ample storage space, the captains seats (far away from siblings)... ugh, what is happening to me?!!?

PARENTING

It’s not easy being a parent. No matter if you work outside the home, inside the home. No matter if you have one, two, three or fifteen children. No matter if you have a small house in a big city or a big house in a small city. No matter if you have money coming out your ears or very little money.

Raising children is hard work — at least it is if you are doing it right.

And yet our children don’t care how fancy we are, or how many messages we get in an hour on our blog. The smaller they are the more they need us. The bigger they are, the more they need us. Sometimes, the more they need us, the more we want to slink away and find some blanket to crawl under. But it doesn’t have to feel that way.

Breaks for parents are absolutely essential.

Absolutely.

There is a time and place for media and screens and technology.  It’s about being conscious, as a parent and a human being, about when and how we are turning to the computer or TV for simply boredom or laziness.

To truly be awake to this life — these few fleeting impressionable years — we have but one choice to make each day: embrace our blessings and honor those around us. Practicing mindful choices each day is something that we have to model for our children.

There are many ways that you can just be with your children that are not hard work, challenging or tiresome. You may discover that your child will reach out to you simply because you are suddenly available. The magic in this list is that it’s just simply being together for a solid half hour or so but it offers up the most beneficial memories we can offer to children. Here are some of our family’s favorites:

• Turn off the TV/computer/phones for one hour. (In our house, we limit daily screen time to a total of one-two hours on our weekly movie nights).
• Have a work hour — they do homework and you work on a hobby like art or reading while sitting at the same table.
• Just listen to music. At our house, we call this a dance party.
• Surprise them with a celebration for trying hard on a test or homework and eat cookies and milk, or ice cream or hot chocolate.
• Sit on the couch while they play and read magazines. They will sit next to you eventually and ask, ”Whatcha reading?”
• Grab two balls and challenge everyone to find something fun to do with them outside.
• Snuggle under a blanket or put a puzzle together.
• Ask them open-ended questions about their day.
• Tell them something surprising about your day.
• Draw together, taking turns adding new lines on the same paper.
• Take a drive, taking turns picking the direction and sitting in silence as the unfamiliar landscape passes you by.
• Look at their baby photos.
• Tell them a funny story from their younger days, or your own childhood. In fact, tell them any story you can think of telling.
• Ask them to teach you how to do something. This is big. Very big.
• Announce that there will be no cleaning for just one day.
• Give them a coupon for a hug to use anytime they need it.

Baby Introduction

All parents have gain experience through parenting itself. None of us are experts in any area of parenting....Most of what I know about raising kids comes from my years of teaching, counselling children and adolescence, educational experience (child development and early elementary education) and my own grandparents example, who successfully raised five children and two grandchildren spanning two decades – who all get along. 


Now my family and I are facing a great parenting challenge...bringing home a sibling:

• When a new baby arrives, the older siblings’ role as an older sibling is as important as the new baby. 
• Explain special treatment the baby receives in terms of the baby not being able to do things the older sibling can do. (baby needs to nurse because they don’t have teeth, baby is carried because they can’t walk)
• If an older sibling expresses disgust or disdain for the baby having dirty diapers, build empathy instead of distance by commenting on how nice it is that the older sibling doesn’t have to wear diapers any more.
  
• Emphasize the older siblings’ ability to teach the baby new things. 
• When older siblings interact with the baby inappropriately, teach them an appropriate way to interact rather than getting angry or frustrated with them. 
• Talk about how much the baby likes their older siblings.
• Give lots of positive reinforcement for appropriate behavior.
• Allow room for the older siblings to regress a bit in the early months after a baby is born. There are a lot of changes happening in the home, and everyone is feeling more tired and strained than usual. Make sure the older siblings are still getting plenty of attention.

The transition should be eased...

• Have the baby bring siblings gifts, and let siblings bring baby gifts to the hospital, but ONLY IF they want to.
• Wear the baby when you want to give the baby a break from siblings.
• Encourage siblings to look after a baby doll or stuffed animal while you look after the baby.
  
• If siblings get rough with the baby and won’t redirect, sadly say that you have to remove the baby, because they aren’t being kind to the baby. I usually put the baby in a baby carrier at this point. Remind siblings that babies are people, not toys.

On the Day that you were born...

--------------------------Monday, December 24, 2007------------------------------------

• All About You…
• Time of birth: 9:14 am
• Weight: 5 pounds, 14 ounces
• Length: 19 inches
• Hospital: Yale
• City: New Haven
• About the Day You Were Born….
• You share a birthday with: Television Host, Ryan Seacrest, born in 1974 Film producer and inventor, Howard Hughes, born in 1905 Singer, Ricky Martin, born in 1971
• Movie "The Bucket List", is on everyone's mind
• GPS tops Christmas Lists

Why I LOVE being a mom....

When I was young and pregnant, finding out I was going to give birth to a boy, I was terrified as to how  I would  care for a little boy... How I would do bathroom breaks and teach him to use a toliet or dress himself. I was hopelessly overwhelmed.

As the two of us, grew to know and learn each other my mind eased. I loved seeing the world through his eyes. Suddenly dinosaurs and robots, mud puddles and frogs were a part of my existence.

As my family grows, the wonders continue to expand. It really is no simple task to convince a four-year-old boy a ‘Tea Party’ with his little sister is cool, or a two-year-old girl that there is no such thing as boy colors and girl colors, and a baby in-utero that now IS the time to be born.

I am sure they have taught me as much as I taught them over the years and I am certain we will continue to enrich each-others lives into the future!

So it was pretty easy to think of why I love being a mom… I love the feeling of crushed cheerios between my toes and stepping on the occasional Lego, I love sleeping on the very edge of my own bed with a foot in my ribs and an arm waving and flying into my face throughout the night. It is sheer joy eating cold meals well into the evening or settling for the table scraps that sat in front of a preschool aged child for just under an hour while being ignored and falling beyond luke warm, if it wasn’t for that cracker I discovered on the cushion of the high chair I just might have starved to death. I do not mind knowing every one of the Disney Characters or when I start randomly humming the ‘Silly Songs’ CD songs line at the bank.  I enjoy cold QUICK, showers all-the-while shouting “Who’s Crying? Why is he/she crying? I’m getting out right now”, merely because it saves time and water… which I need for the loads and loads and loads and loads of laundry. Reading “Brown Bear, Brown Bear”, three-to-five times a day and taking at least 30 minutes to get ready to go ANY where and all the EMERGENCY potty breaks in EVERY public restroom EVER built while we are out for a few, quick errands…

None of that, NONE of it is bad, not bad at all. It is not bad because I am blessed; ALL moms are blessed with the joys of motherhood. I had been around children all my life and I always knew the joy they would bring to their parents and others, but I never felt the pure awe-embracing bliss my own children would bring into my life as soon as they were discovered.  

I am blessed that my children have made even the most mundane tasks a breeze and a joy, I am blessed that a solo-trip to the supermarket has become a vacation… a LONELY vacation.

Blessed that Friday nights mean pizza and a movie, at home, Saturday mornings cartoons and being up before the sun, weekends feel the same as weekdays, every season with its new discoveries allows for different yet glorious adventures.

Blessed that I am paid in sticky kisses, extra tight hugs, chocolate stained handshakes, booger sleeves, being called “Mama” and watching a smile extend check-to-check on my little ones face the first time they see Santa Clause, or lose a tooth, or eat an ice cream cone or play in rain puddles or say “Goodnight” or watch the snow fall or ride a bicycle or write their name for the first time or learn to shuffle-step, throw a baseball, or feel an ocean breeze, or… just smile.

I am JUST a mom, mildly freaking out...

Perhaps it is bad timing, perhaps I am becoming a 'crunchy mom', perhaps I am growing less content in following the rules or perhaps I have little trust in others.... I don't know... But, I stumbled accross a documentary earlier in the week that changed, or rather questioned my decisions regarding the birth of our third child (which can really take place any day now).

Pregnant in America  --- It was featured on Hulu or I probably would have missed it. Pregnant in America is a motivational, and inspirational documentary made by film maker Steve Buonagurio about the birth of his daughter Bella. Shocked by the greed of U.S. hospitals, insurance companies and medical organizations, Steve and his wife Mandy set out to create a natural home birth in a world where everything is anything but natural. The film is as much educational as it is entertaining and prepares expecting parents for their uncertain journey of being pregnant and having their baby.

Considering the birth is immenent I am totally freaking out and questioning just about every aspect of pregnancy, birth and delivery.

What TO wear... Family Portrait Style

I always say COORDINATE do not match, meaning pick 3 or 4 colors and everyone wear a variation of them . I love COLORS patterns and layers and accesories

These are my opinions based on My experience of what I think photographs well:)

Here are some of my Do's and Dont's

DONT wear all WHITE shirts (or black or red or ANYTHING where everyone is in the same color. This is a very dated look (90's:)) Also everyone blends together and makes the image less interesting.

DO wear patterns! I love little boys and men in a colorful plaid shirt. I then would have others bring out one of the colors of the plaid shirt and wear a plain colored shirt and pair it with a cute scarf, boots or heels.

DONT wear LOGOS!!!!!! No NIKE, PATAGONIA, GAP or other labels. This is VERY distracting in an image. There is a slight exception to this... if you prefer a more urban style sometimes graphic tees work:) For example a "Rockstar" shirt, make sense?

DO layers! Put a polo shirt under the little guys plaid shirt. Bring a denim Jacket to wear over the dress. A cute Pea Coat with matching heels is just darling! Switching out layers changes up the look and feel of the photos.

DONT wear something unflattering. This seems like a given right? BUT Im constantly surprised when women complain that they hate their arms yet they choose a short sleeve shirt. To this I say 3/4 length sleeves:)

DO go shopping and purchase new clothes (or at least some new items). I figure, if you are investing in a photo session than you would like the images as awesome as possible right? Put some thought into the outfits:)

Packing my bags...

Lessons I learned just in time for the THIRD time around....

DON'T:

Don't bring nursing bras, bring a nursing tank instead.

Don't bring nursing pads, boobs would leak, but not until you get home.

Don't bring baby fingernail clippers or files.

Don't bring girl stuff if you're having a boy. But, if you know the gender, stay away from the neutral stuff too.

Don't bring going home outfits that don't have legs for the car seat.

Don't bring your own underwear. You will be a fountain that spurts red for days and days (and weeks and weeks) so use those ridiculous mesh panties they provide. Use the heck out of them.

DO:

Do bring your breastfeeding pillow. BUT only if you are inexperienced...It will be your only comfort during that 3AM feed where the baby won't stay awake and you think you're going to drop him because you should be sleeping but you're not.

Do bring a tube of nipple butter/lanolin and apply it to your entire boob after EVERY feeding for at least three weeks. You'll avoid cracked and bleeding nipples that way.

Do bring a robe in case you decide to stay in your hospital gown.

Do bring a warm outfit for the baby to wear during the first night, even if the hospital website says they provide one.

Do bring baby mittens to keep them from scratching themselves (and your boobs) with sharp claws.

Do bring plastic flipflops for the shower.

Do bring snacks.

Do bring your baby memory book or journal and ask the nurses (nicely) if they'll stamp your baby's footprint in it while they're doing the birth certificate.

What TO wear

I should be on a TLC special. My wardrobe needs serious assistance, some purging, some watchful eyes and some 'friendly' imput.... I definately have the Wardrobe Essentials: 1) Classic White Blouse

2) Little Black Dress

3)Basic Pant Suit 4)Pencil Skirt

5)Neutral Tone Pants

6) Jeans

7) Tank tops & Tee-shirts (layer-able) 8) Shells (sleeve-less tops) 9)Cardigan

10) Cocktail Dress 11) Assortment of Jewlery 12) Assortment of belts, scarves and bags 13) Basic flats, basic heals and tall boots 14) Tailored Blazer 15) Long 'trench' Coat 16) Crew or Polo Sweater 17) Comfy Sweatshirt 18) White Cotton T-Shirt 19) Leather Jacket

Ladies Day

Harwington Rod and Rifle! Favorite Mama day off of the year!!!

Poor nameless child...

I am still at a lose as to what we should be naming our littliest addtion to the family. Matt and I cannot seem to agree on any names and it is beyond aggravating. I loath his suggestions and he mine...

He likes : Danger, Cameron (He seems to be digging the new age)

I like : Nathaniel, William, Christopher, Donimick, Andrew, Elijah, Michael, Nicholas, Timothy, Cadence, Caleb (I'm a classic girl)

Jack suggests : Alexander, Daniel (It's all in who he knows)

Trina suggests : Maximus, Flynn (I think our little Rapunzel has an addiction)

Parent/Teacher Night

My stomach was in knots for days over Jonathan's Academic performance and the curriculum in Kindergarten, as well as his seemingly inability to make friends with the children his own age. His teacher alleviated a LOT of my concerns, although not all of them. She did confirm that he often is playing alone outside at recess time. Of course I worry less about that and more about his academic achievements, especially since I KNOW he has friends elsewhere and REALLY can get along with anyone. I think the play-time issue is, he doesn't like excluding anyone, and that is the nature of the recess BEAST. Over All, I had a FANTASTIC meeting with his teacher. She totally put my mind at ease... He's in for a challenging year! HOORAY!

Regaining & Maintaining Attention

Give Me Five

When it’s time to begin an activity I sometimes hold up my hand and use
Give Me Five
to get the attention of my students.

Eyes are watching
Ears are listening
Mouth is quiet
Hands are to myself
Hearts are caring

Hold up 1 finger as you say each rule. You’ll soon find your students reciting these with you.

No fail...

EVERY time I venture out, for a reason other than work or house-hold chores... SOMETHING happens... Tonight was no different...

Is the grass ALWAYS greenier?

Do you ever look at your ex's and their current life status' and think, "Woah, I dodged a bullet there!"?

Not that any of them are in a 'bad' place, just different than where I am or where I would choose to be at thirty. I'd definately not be happy single & dating, married withOUT children, traveling the world on exotic adventures, living with my parents to save a ton & do nothing but have fun or living in a big empty house with my spouse and spending money on spas and fancy things. NONE of those things are bad or a bad idea or a place I wouldn't or haven't seen myself ten years ago or ten years from now, but right now...right NOW, I am in the BEST place for me.

I love hearing "momma," from a tiny voice down the hall, washing dishes and laundry and floors nearly constantly, making dinner, packing lunches and refilling sippy cups, waking up early to 'play', and I don't even mind steping on the occassional lego or washing some mysterious 'goo' off my hands, coaxing a monster out of the closet or waiting in line for a water slide that I cannot even ride.Yup, when I look out my window every morning, my grass is pretty darn green...its got some patches of slightly different shades of green - but green never-the-less.

I never planned on staying home for more han three years and making ends meet with odd jobs of babysitting, tutoring or curriculum writing. I never imagined my night's out would be demonstrating and consulting for Pampered Chef... I never thought I would become a good, quick cook who never seems to follow a recipe... I certainly never thought I would be making my own soaps, laundry detergent or diapers. I could have never guessed that at thirty I would be the happy mother of two, expecting number three, cleaning and teaching by day and framing an addition by night. I never thought I'd have a handsome, smart husband working (unnessacarily) 50+ hours of overtime a week because the company he works for trusts no one else...I never imagined waking semi-rested after less than 4 hours of sleep to do it all again would make me smile. But, it does. Everyday I smile. I smile because I wouldn't have it any other way....

Let's talk diapers

For most moms, its a grab what you have a coupon for, whatever is on sale, given to you or comes in the best bang for your buck ratio.

But, for some moms it is a bigger decision than that.

To cloth or not to cloth? Will I dispose or reuse? What brand works best? How do you clean them? What detergent do you use? How often do I wash them? Wear should I wash them? How many do I need? Which materials are the most absorbent? Which fabrics are the most comfortable? Does cute-ness really matter to me? How many styles are there? The most scary part is, every baby is different. Their legs, and behinds are contoured a bit different. They 'go' at different intervals and in different amounts. Their skin may be sensitive to different materials.

You can buy a million diapers before the baby arrives and see that none of them work, once the baby is in them.

Will I be wasting money or saving it? Is it more of a hassle than it is really worth?

Am I becoming a bit too 'crunchy'?

And what if I made my own?

Date Night

There is no question that children will completely change a marriage. We all know this going into it (or at least we should--- and if you miss that part of a marriage or ANY relationship being work, then shame on you). So, it probably would be a good idea to discuss how you are going to keep the flame burning for the two of you after the kids have arrived. We first started with our purchase of the Wii game system when we were expecting Jonathan. We played at least one night a week and ordered in. After Katrina arrived, we were FAR too tired at the end of a busy week to play a game, so this morphed into dinner and a movie (in the living room)... Of course once the children got a wee bit older and we were more comfortable (particularly I), we began our bi-weekly DATE NIGHTS! Hello date night! Greatest invention for those married with children! Something as simple as agreeing to a night reserved just for the two of you can keep that connection going. Now, not knowing your specific financial situation please take heed that this evening does not have to bankrupt you. I’m also not suggesting that going on a date night has to be every week, but twice a month wouldn’t be out of the question, would it? Why is date night so important to parents? We all have different reasons. That's because no two parents are alike. There is one thing all parents have in common, though. They're human beings. Everyone needs a break now and then. All work and no play makes Mom and Dad pretty dull. Even parents deserve a little down time. For us there are FIVE reasons we NEED to get out on a date night AT LEAST every other week! 1. It's true; parenting is the hardest job ever. If you're a parent, you're nodding your head right now. If you're not, maybe you think there are harder jobs. That's OK. You'll know better when you have kids of your own. Meanwhile, consider this: Parenting is the only job you can never quit where you have to be on duty 24/7 for the rest of your life. It doesn't even end when your kids have kids of their own. Date night is a small concession for these constant parental duties. 2. Mom and Dad have a relationship too. Date night gives them a chance to socialize without the kids interrupting every few seconds. The better Mom and Dad's relationship is, the more effective their parenting skills are. They need to present a united front. They can't do that unless they're coming from a place of love. There is nothing that aides in the developmental of young people more than the modeling of a stable relationship! 3. Kids aren't the only ones who like to play dress up. Date night gives parents a chance to do just that. Getting all dressed up gives parents a break from the dull routine. They can leave their sweats and bathrobes at home. They can look like "real" people again. They can look like the person their spouse fell in love with. 4. Date night brings romance back into the picture. Remember that pretty girl or handsome guy you fell in love with? Rekindle your romance with dinner by candlelight. Exchange kisses in the movie theater. Date night is a chance to be young and in love again. 5. Forget your worries and fiances and problems and enjoy each others company. It doesn't have to cost anything but time! For our First Night in June, Matt treated me to a show we had seen earlier in the year, but unfortunately missed the beginning and left halfway through the show. This time we were able to enjoy the show from start to finish and it was AMAZING!

Your ONLY a Stay-At-Home-Mom???

1. I am blessed enough to be financial stable while being home with my children. It is FANTASTIC! When they go to school, I will get a TRADITIONAL job! In the meantime, I will hold them, nurture them clothe them and educate them. I will continue to provide them with educational activities and healthy treats; I will continue to explore the world from the comfort of our home and the wilderness outside. I am calling it my JOB to be home, and I take it seriously. It is WORK and it should be WORK, NOT a vacation!

2. June Cleaver, THANK YOU. She enjoyed the WORK, and embraced the dedication that came along with being a STAY AT HOME MOM.

3. I am home and taking it seriously, I am tired and SHOULD be tired… I should be well,... WORKED!

4. A couple dozen brownies, will take maybe an hour, so I’ll just do it. And write it down, that’s a favor I'll can cash in later. While I'm baking I will be teaching my children the importance of friendships, and being dependable. They can assist me in the preparation and learn how to measure, count and cook.

5. All day with my kids, no you cannot imagine! I am so blessed for the opportunity to be the sole provider of care, education, health and nutrition. THANK YOU for reminding me.

6. I would be lying if I said it were easy. We all make sacrifices for the greater good of our families and our children. I pick up part-time jobs whenever I can just so we can grocery shop, vacation and send the kids to private organizations and activities.

7. I wake, make my children a REAL breakfast, clean the kitchen, spread out an activity I pre-organized for the children to complete so I can work-out without tripping over them the WHOLE time, discuss the schedule for the day with the children, complete a reading activity, complete a mathematical activity, prepare lunch while the children play with a ‘daily special’ (musical instrument, physical movement activity, computer, library book, art project), serve lunch to the family, shower while they eat, put the little one down for a nap, set up an independent activity for the older child, wash – dry – fold – put away several loads of laundry while cleaning each room one at a time and playing a board game with the older child, prepare a nutritional snack, wake the little one, serve the snack, read a themed book to the children for either science or history and perform the associated task or activity, play outdoors or indoors WITH the children, prepare dinner while the children continue to play, serve dinner, while the children are eating – run a bath for the smallest child, bathe the child while the older child completes an independent activity, read a story to the children, put the small child in bed, bathe the older child, read another story, place the older child in bed. When the house is quiet, I wash the floors, surfaces and remaining laundry while MAYBE watching a few moments of television… Why? What do YOU do all day?

8. I have several degrees, I utilize them every day. My degree in education assists me in creating curriculum for the shoreline school districts, BUT even if I didn’t do that, I create, plan, and implement educational learning experiences for my children SEVEN, yes SEVEN days a week. My degree in child development has enabled me to land a FOURTH part-time job in creating, recruiting and impending physical activities for kindergarteners --- and even if I didn’t have THAT job, I use my degree daily in confirming my children are at or above level in ALL the tasks they will need to perform at the age and ability levels.

9. My children do NOT cling, they understand that I, their MOTHER am ALWAYS here and available for them to love, nurture and care, to listen, guide and support.

10. My house is lived in, loved and utilized, anytime anyone enters it is a safe, organized, germ-free, clutter-free environment, but by the time our children are done... it is lived in once again.